Looking above, I came across a flock of birds. They were all silent as they fled across the skies of revelation and to their home. They had scars on their bodies but never did they lose their happiness. In the good old days, our teachers would ask us what we wanted to become when we get older. Our reply would be that we wanted to become a bird with our wings wide open embracing what we call nature. We would say that if we had the chance we would never shut our feathers and sit down. We wanted to explore this world in silence and never feel that some sadness will follow. What does a bird feel like when it is up and above floating and competing with the wind? The way we feel when somebody plays music that really touches our heart and we can relate to every single word that the singer is trying to convey. The way we feel when we get overjoyed by catching a glimpse of a loved one or even hearing their voices.
Did we find an experience that’s equal to a feeling of freedom? We got freedom but did we feel the jubilation? The birds are afraid of us. What made them like that? They would fly away when we come near to them. When the innocent was slaughtered and the world was broken down, we sat on our couch munching on snacks and watching the news for what really happened. When the missiles were thrown on the land to make it deserted, the struggle to make this land more beautiful by many people went to waste. When the hostages were killed without the murderers knowing why they are killing them and the victims knowing what they are killed for, we were asleep in our bedrooms with the air conditioner on and we’re dreaming about a life for us that will be better than the one we are living now. Why did the teenagers kill themselves when they had a way to escape their situation? Why was a particular religious cult considered terrorist, when it only taught us about peace and love? Why were the bullies hitting black people and passing out racist comments? Didn’t they have the same blood as the others? Why were some people considered untouchable? Weren’t they kind by their hearts? Why was acid thrown on people’s faces when as a child we only thought that it was for chemistry? Why were women mutilated? Weren’t they the ones who gave us birth and taught us to walk? Why were the poor people begging on the roads and asking for money when we had the chance to find them a job?
Is there anything else to be recalled and anything worse left to happen to this world? We were only taught about unity and love in our schools. The birds serve as a reminder to what we can do to change this world. We can fly and watch our silhouette flowing beneath us and let the people become happy. We can have a world that’s filled with serenity. We can still have a world without guns and ammunitions. We can throw up the idea of war with a little love. Wars can be one without defeat. Every scar can heal overtime.
I was looking up at the sun which was almost covered by the dusky clouds and seeing people closing their windows and running to get some shelter seemed bizarre. The cool breeze mixed up with some droplets of chilled water was coming across my face and I never wanted the moment to end. The rain was leaving behind a rich smell that reminded me of my childhood when I found happiness in all the bits and pieces that were scattered in all directions. We would collect the memories and gather them to form something that completes us. The water slushed in to the tiny pools of mud and rainwater. The kids were hurdling across the city that a few hours earlier was shrivelled. I don’t know how many people think that a downpour is a feeling of sadness but I think the adverse. I’ve always enjoyed dancing in the rain though I never knew how to dance. Only in the books did this drizzle have a feeling of letting go and crying it’s heart out whenever it felt like. It also encourages you to cry with it and doesn’t leave you until you feel like you’ve done enough and snivelling for something that should not matter is not right. It let’s you breathe when the populace didn’t even let you inside when you caused for no harm to them. You just tried too hard to lose yourself that you came out to be lost. The pressure was building up on you but it was too late for someone to apprehend. They appreciated you until they thought you would do good to them but threw you right away when you could not live up to them. You fell flat on your faces.
The trees were now dripping the last of the drops that didn’t touch the ground. Some drops fell on your head and they tried arduously to make you hold your ground even when they weren’t there for you. The only one who will be left behind is you. The drenched ground was soon beginning to get dry by the bright sunlight that shone over your head.You were thrown aback by the wonders you never noticed happened in your life but you were unmindful of them. The sun implied something as well by the luminesce it had created.
Rain went away but it left traces so that you never forget what it wantedwanted you to be. The water that was left behind tried to catch up with the inner ground. They were complete now.
When you were surrounded by a crowd and everybody was talking and laughing and smiling, didn’t you feel like you were a numbskull with your face tilted towards your shoulder and had nobody to smile with? I don’t know how people walk when they are depressed or agitated but I walk like I don’t want to. There are a blast of feelings in my head trying to be a joker for me but I put my head down and sleep. Sleep is something I’ve always loved to do. I can’t show somebody my tears rolling down my cheeks and making my clothes wet. My hands shake and my legs are almost numb. I try to wave away everyone who comes to know what’s wrong but the truth is that I don’t even know what’s wrong and what good is supposed to happen. I am cold. There’s a lump in my throat, that is the last sign of your anger turning into a waterfall. I want to run away, away from here, away from pain when I am victimized. I wish that a certain sound or some water will take me back to life but I’m almost dead underneath. Will I ever get a life that was supposed to be mine? Will I ever get a reason to be happy? Will I ever find someone to give me a cold shoulder? Or will I stay as a joke for this world always? I’ve been betrayed by people, by life and by myself to live again. I try to assemble the broken pieces but they only can be joined together, they can never get fixed. I hear languages around me that I don’t understand, people translate it for me but I’m not even present there.
I sleep again into my dreams in which I’m serenaded, loved and away from the people shouting on me or on the people near me. I sleep because I’m tired and I don’t know if I’ll get a chance to live for myself. I sleep and cry but don’t know out of all the reasons, which reason am I weeping for. I cry because I’ve to wake up again and fake a smile and lie again.
She always had that shadow behind or beneath her that wasn’t her flaw but it reminded her of what lies and sorrows hid underneath her skin. She was made up of flesh and bone but no one knew what had made her this diffident. Coming across the grandstand made her shiver, she could hear her teeth clicking or her feet trembling with awkwardness. She lived in a broken home surrounded by inept circumstances. Never did she love herself let alone anybody else. She thought she was the only one infelicitous enough to live as a walking tragedy. She knew the meaning of rage but never did she find the meaning of beatitude as far as she had lived. She would let her mascara smudge, she didn’t know how to contour her nose, she never had many shades of kajal in her shelf. She never relied on her clothes for looking good. She didn’t dress up well, she didn’t tie her hair like any other girl, she didn’t wear make up, she was obnoxious, yet she was beautiful.
He was flattered by a sight of her. He could die just to make her fall in love with him. He didn’t care about the macrocosm for he found happiness for the first time in his life. He never enjoyed his time living in a Lexus cage. Money never bought him elation. He walked with his face turned down making people joke about him. He wore spectacles that were bigger than his face. He was trying to cope up with this fast-paced world. He dreamt of making the world his to hold. He wanted to live a life that didn’t depend on anybody else’s happiness. He was blessed but never did he find any blessings in his life himself. Tired of this mundane world, never did he become a recidivist. He believed in the Lord almighty because he thought that he would send a saviour for him sooner or later. SHE was the saviour.
When they met for the first time, he could hear many voices in his head telling him she was the one worth all the wait. Heartbeats grew faster but the reason could not be secerned. It was teenage love but it seemed ages old. Neither of them knew that out of a gigantic number of people, they would cross paths. None knew anything better than giving up before them meeting. No one felt this happy before.
This was yet just the beginning.
Did you see the blue sky moving with us? The panoramic view was Splendiferous. No matter how hapless you are or were, it is accompanied by magnificence.The blue in the skies was caressing the white and the boundaries were abundant. They might be many light hours away from me but I couldn’t deny the cipher that was hidden behind them. Though they were visionary, they meant something. It was a feeling of infatuation.
“I feel as though I was deceived, never found love in the city”- these lyrics have always been truthful to me. I tried to cheat on my despicabilities but they beguiled me. On the contrary, they made me learn the meaning of radiance in this reality. When I first went to a new school, I never realized who I was and who I ought to be. I never realized that I’m straying away from what can throw me to the threshold of reality. I never found a compadre nor did I find somebody to love. I didn’t find someone in front of whom I can feel loved too. Maybe I was too infernal to imbibe the situation or too soaked up by my throes. I never realized someone’s admiration in seeing my face.I have been hiding a lot from people and myself too. I don’t know if I belong here or am I too cold for a shoulder. I disappear into the state of being stone cold. I cry but I never let my tears soak in the happiness that lies behind, hoping someday I can make it. Some day, the world will be flattered in seeing the rainbow after a downpour.
Maybe, sometime I can really figure out what this galaxy has for me or I can stay hiding my face forever.
And I won’t damnify myself with the latter for sure.
He was treasured by everyone in the encompassing ranges. He adored many people, but not someone as much as her. All the moments around her were woolgathering for him.He might be truthful to all and sundry, but never to her. She appeared mysterious to him.He lived a lamentable life, disappearing at a sight of her.
She was lost and deeply engaged in the aftermath of her life and all about she cared. She was often obnoxious about the spectators never knowing that she could hurt someone this bad.She didn’t care about anyone until she lost herself. Her life had just furbished up after the cataclysm.
He stargazed even when she was there, right infront of his eyes. He kept on disobliging his own self. He gave her a hunting ground that nobody could see.
She could see him relishing her. There was very much in common between them but they were victimizing themselves for their heart and their soul.
No one knew where this betrayal would lead them to.
She always had a room for herself where it was pitch dark. The blackness filled the void for her. She never spoke out to people, she had shrieks of fear. She thought she would become a throwaway. She could lean, she could walk, she could say but somehow she was different. She thought of exfoliating her skin, in the wake of becoming fake but that was unacceptable too. She had dreams of walking through the door, the alley, and off the bridge. Was it the denouement?
Deep in the arms of her fear was a door that opened to an unknown luminosity. She never how to survive until she kissed the demons out of her dreams.
It was funny but it seemed beautiful.
I have been getting some feedback on the adverse. So, I tried to write a life experience. I would be grateful if you discriminate the flaws out of this.
So, it’s been a while since I came into a new city, “the city of the damned”, as I call it. People actually call it the “city of joy”, not for me though. I’ve been getting feelings of delirium since the beginning. I try to talk to people but a sudden oblivion hits me, I’m shaking. All I can ask is that “was it meant to be?”. A feeling in the gut like prickling , tingling and pressure is all I can feel. Is it a silent panic attack or am I just over thinking it? I have never been able to open up to people until another disaster hit me and shattered me into pieces. Agony has always been a companion, a real one. I found peace and sympathy in my Fandom. I tried to hide the tears into a cave of my heart but it turned out to be worse.
Will joy ever pass through the deserted Boulevard in the corner of which I live? Will there be a world without betrayal?
I was oneirically thinking of flumping down the cliff and was inquisitive about whether my muscles ruptured or the mental anguish was an amended way to get out of the city of the damned. There’s a combat going in between my forebrain and hindbrain if the blackness would ever be lost far behind the jack-o’-lantern and if that betrays me, the sunshine would accompany. For this world is catastrophic and there’s resplendence only when we make way for it.
Why is the suffocation vellicating inside of me like the muscles forming a whorl. No blood pumping out but the wretchedness taking its toll. Is my fall from grace giving Mr unhinged feelings or the veins perturbing, vexing throughout this body. My eyes are draining water, making my face wet.
Is that what we call beingness?