Better days.

I know that I’m not as active on this blog as I once was, I am just trying to figure my life out. The past few days have been good but I’m cursing myself more in the meanwhile. I am stuck in studies and can’t find a way through.
Sometimes, you just feel useless as you are not able to do anything right to your existence or the world that you live in. You are not that great in something anymore you thought was your passion. You try to study but just can’t keep it in your mind. The words leave a feeling of pain and nauseousness. You are rejoicing the fact that the surroundings have been good to you but you didn’t return the favour back. Maybe being nice will get me nowhere but what in the world will? I made some new friends who can make my pain go away and I love them for that. I was never better off on my own, I needed people in everything that I did. In the time being, I’ve come across one more thing that I’m doing lately, not caring a tad about the haters. They are just jealous of your smile.
I’ve found that listening to the old music I loved has been a convalescent for my body. I have built good memories in the past few years with those songs. Sometimes they make me remember some friends I’ve lost, sometimes they tell me about the good times and maybe sometimes about the people or things that made them good. I’ve had the some of the best days of my life in these few days.
Writing has made my world better. I never thought that it will heal my wounds so fast and make me a new person. I am a very shy person and don’t open up to people easily just because I think that some won’t be nice to me or some would judge me. Writing has made this fear go away. I have learnt that I will have to collect the pieces of every emotion I go through and make a world as beautiful as it is in my dreams. I have learnt to cherish everything and everyone I’ve got.
Maybe some day the misery that I’ve still kept aside in the corner of my mind will permanently go away. Maybe there are some people in the world who think that I’m the world to them. Maybe there’s something in store every soul who has lost his/her ability to live or live happily. The world is only better if we make it better. Maybe writing will transform every disability I have. Maybe someday I’ll die a happy person.

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