Dead Inside.

It was years ago that I expressed my emotions to people. I cried at things that I regretted afterwards. I cried a lot. What does it matter if you whine Infront of people? Do they understand you? Does their presence make it any better? They might think that you are crying for a stupid reason and everything’s going to be alright in some time. The actual reason was always different. Nobody could think of what we were going through. Sharing wouldn’t help either. How is taking out all your frustration on others going to help? They can’t unriddle things out. Many will laugh it out. Many will fake mourning. That was when I decided to be stoical. I decided to be stone cold.
Everything was going around me, yet I didn’t show it. I went to school and laughed as much as I could. It was weird how some people still got to know that I was being fake. I was pretending to be impassive but deep underneath, I still cared. I showed my emotions only to my pillow when the lights went out. I waited for this time a lot as it was the only moment that I felt good. I felt nuclear winter for the rest of the day. It was just about being alive. Nothing inside me felt alive. I was dead inside. Sharing was an option but how much pain can you throw on a happy person’s face? How long will they sympathize you with their kind words? How long will they hold on for you if you don’t want to come out of your misery?
It’s only your choice to come out of the darkness that has been holding you back since so long. It’s your mind that can take you out of the trashy situation. Remember that there will be someone to help you only if you want to be helped. One day you’ll find happiness in everything you see, every smiling face you see, in the fact that you can see. In the fact that you can hear and the fact that you can feel. One day, you’ll feel treasured by the memories you’ve created and will create. One day, you’ll feel happiness again and it will be worth all the while.


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