It’s truly a pleasant experience when we are heart broken but lay under the stars and pour our heart out to them. They don’t judge us nor do they be ruthful towards us but somehow they manage to make us feel better just by a slight sight. Their magnificence is conveyed by their twinkling. They shine bright but don’t blind us by their lustre. I used to confess all my dreams to the stars lying in the dark night which was illuminated by them. I don’t know why but they really inspire me. They inspire me to shine without any fair complexion or without being a know-it-all or being the brightest.
Three years ago, I left my home, my city and maybe my happiness too. I left somebody who had been the closest to me in my hour of need and in my happiness. We never knew we can fall apart so far off that it would be difficult for anyone to collect the pieces and make something out of them. We shared our jokes, our crushes, our boneheadedness, our woes, our sufferings, our food with each other. We talked all day in school, make fun of many but it wasn’t enough. So, we talked on the phone for hours as well. We could make each other laugh just by our expressionless shitty faces and make the moment memorable. We would hate the same people, love the same people, our friendship was unbreakable. We had fights that ended the same day or the same hour. We had fights because of our gooselike behavior. Once we had a fight which lasted days but somehow we managed to breakthrough. I remember the last time we saw each other was when we had one of our exams. Many people asked me why I was so depressed that day. I never answered, who are they to ask anyway?
I told her that I’ll be leaving town in some days, I didn’t even know when I was leaving. She thought that I was joking but I wasn’t. I just thought of a miracle to happen but it never did. The next day when we met, she asked me again if what I said to her was true, I said yes. She was really disgusted by me that she pushed me, but as a goodbye, a last friendly push she could manage. We drifted apart and went to our houses. I got calls from her asking questions but I broke down on the line. We had our social studies exam as the next and we were calling each other to make funny stories about the old-age rulers so that we could learn better. I never wanted to leave between the exams, I was a bright student. I just studied on the last day and got really good marks. She went for the exam, I never did, I wasn’t prepared for it either.
I and my family were traveling to some other place by road. We stopped at some hotel to rest, that was when I called her. I called her up but hung up shortly as I just wanted to hear my best friend’s voice. The moment was not right for explanations. After some days, I explained her about what went wrong but she wasn’t listening. We somehow managed to be friends again but not the same way. There came a day when I cut all connections from everyone in that city. I thought that I had nothing to share with them except my misery. I thought slowly and gradually we’ll become redundant. I spent two years like that while people messaged my sisters to ask me to talk at least once. I wouldn’t listen to them. I had become stone-hearted. I just wanted to be alone. I had the taste of suicidal in my mouth but I was too afraid to accomplish my desires. I got moving texts but I wasn’t willing to reply to any.
One day, I decided that it was high time and I should reply to someone who was hurting so bad. I replied and she was over the moon.
Though we talk now, not for a long time but for some time, it isn’t the same as it was before. We truly have become redundant and too soaked up in our lives now.
The inclusion of stars in this post is really weird but they played a part in my life when I was looking for some direction, when I couldn’t share my true feelings with others, they helped. They invigorated me to do what is right. They came to my aid. I was clueless for what this useless life holds for me but they made me learn how to to breathe again. They made me feel good.