Three day challenge. #day2

It’s day two of the three day challenge and I’ve chosen some quotes that I love through and through. I find it amusing that they inspire me and make me think otherwise.

  • Are you going to age with grace? Are you going to age without mistakes? Are you going to age with grace? Or only to wake and hide your face?

I don’t know how a song describes everything I feel in just 3 minutes. When you don’t want anybody to talk to anybody, you just hear the words from a good song and it gives you a direction.

  • You lean towards despair
    Any given opportunity you’re there
    But what is there to gain?
    When you’re always falling off the fence that way.

 

It’s funny how you can take out many meanings of a song and then compare it to your life. You will feel nostalgic sometimes. But, in the end they open up a world to you. A new world.

So, these were the lyrics from two great songs, “Oblivion” and “Overjoyed” by the band “Bastille.”

Do hear them singing. They don’t fail to inspire anytime I listen to them.

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Three day challenge. #day1

Hey everyone,  so I’ve been nominated for the three day challenge. 

Thankyou so much nostalgicfallacies for nominating me. She has an amazing blog and is worth a read. 

Basically the rules say to:

  1. Thank the person who nominated you
  2. Post 1- 3 quotes in three consecutive days
  3. Nominate 3 bloggers

I’ve  chosen these three quotes which are taken from novels and songs that I really love and are somewhat close to my heart. 

  • But I’m not a compilation of symptoms. Not a casualty of shitty parents and even shittier chemical makeup. Not a problem.  Not a diagnosis.  Not an illness.  Not something to be rescued.  I’m a person. 
  • She is oxygen, carbon, hydrogen, nitrogen, calcium andphosphorus. The same elements that are inside the rest of us, but I can’t help thinking she’s more than that and she’s got other elements going on that no one’s ever heard of, ones that make her stand apart from everybody else. I feel this brief panic as I think, What would happen if one of those elements malfunctioned or just stopped working altogether? I make myself push this aside and concentrate on the feel of her skin until I no longer see molecules but Violet.

These two quotes have been taken from the book “All the bright places” by Jennifer  Niven. It’s a really good book about two people who are trying to figure out the meaning of their lives while sorting each other’s lives. I’ll suggest y’all to read it. 

  • You smashed a glass into pieces  And that’s around the time I left  And you were coming across as clever   Then you lit the wrong end of your cigatette

These are the lyrics from the song “A change of heart” by The 1975. This song makes me fall for it everytime it is played. 

The people I’d like to nominate are-

Dead Inside.

It was years ago that I expressed my emotions to people. I cried at things that I regretted afterwards. I cried a lot. What does it matter if you whine Infront of people? Do they understand you? Does their presence make it any better? They might think that you are crying for a stupid reason and everything’s going to be alright in some time. The actual reason was always different. Nobody could think of what we were going through. Sharing wouldn’t help either. How is taking out all your frustration on others going to help? They can’t unriddle things out. Many will laugh it out. Many will fake mourning. That was when I decided to be stoical. I decided to be stone cold.
Everything was going around me, yet I didn’t show it. I went to school and laughed as much as I could. It was weird how some people still got to know that I was being fake. I was pretending to be impassive but deep underneath, I still cared. I showed my emotions only to my pillow when the lights went out. I waited for this time a lot as it was the only moment that I felt good. I felt nuclear winter for the rest of the day. It was just about being alive. Nothing inside me felt alive. I was dead inside. Sharing was an option but how much pain can you throw on a happy person’s face? How long will they sympathize you with their kind words? How long will they hold on for you if you don’t want to come out of your misery?
It’s only your choice to come out of the darkness that has been holding you back since so long. It’s your mind that can take you out of the trashy situation. Remember that there will be someone to help you only if you want to be helped. One day you’ll find happiness in everything you see, every smiling face you see, in the fact that you can see. In the fact that you can hear and the fact that you can feel. One day, you’ll feel treasured by the memories you’ve created and will create. One day, you’ll feel happiness again and it will be worth all the while.

The beautiful game.

It doesn’t matter how much you hate a person, when you watch football all the fans come together. Their blood pumps together, their heart beats together. No matter how poor or rich you are, it connects us all. It’s inspiring how a goal can create so much agony or joy for many people at once. It’s heart melting to see our club win something. It’s heartbreaking to see our favorite player getting injured. It’s like an injury to our body, we feel hurt.
We sit on our couch, we won’t move or something bad will happen. We don’t blink, we are frozen. We stay as we are. Our hearts are beating faster with every breath we take. We breathe, we can hear the sound of silence. We hear it. It echoes throughout our hollow skull. The blood pumps faster and we are cold as ice. When the opponent does a foul, we shout even when we are alone. We are more loyal to our football clubs than anybody else. We don’t feel sleepy even if we have to watch a match at 3 in the morning. We wait for a week for a match and it feels like decades. Our clubs holding a trophy and seeing them happy is the best feeling in the world for a football junkie. It is called the beautiful game and it is beautiful. It’s beautiful because you forget about all your worries, all your frustrations, all your wrath for someone or something while you are watching it. Nothing’s more important.

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This is how I feel as a football junkie. I feel happy. I feel content. I feel all the emotions at once. It’s the beautiful game and it will remain beautiful forever.images

Unheard-of feeling. 

What is this feeling about? There’s a burst of euphoria in my mind but I still feel a tad of sadness. My head is filled with thoughts and there’s heftiness like something heavy is kept upon it but I feel like dancing anyway. I feel like finally a bit of misery is being kicked away, far away from me. And, it’s for the first time. 

I always try to find something pretty in nature when looking outside the window,  but today I can’t.  The view is picturesque but this is the first time my elation seems better than anything else.  I see the skies,  the roads,  the trees. I try to read the book that I love reading but I just can’t seem to remember what’s  happening to the protagonist and the other characters.  I scratch my head in confusion, my eyes are shining bright. I hear voices that sound so pleasant, I don’t feel like shutting my ears.  The feeling that you want to jump up above as high as possible and don’t feel like coming down. I don’t know what is happening to me but I know that this is the first time I’m feeling this way. 

Stars make us who we are.

It’s truly a pleasant experience when we are heart broken but lay under the stars and pour our heart out to them. They don’t judge us nor do they be ruthful towards us but somehow they manage to make us feel better just by a slight sight. Their magnificence is conveyed by their twinkling. They shine bright but don’t blind us by their lustre. I used to confess all my dreams to the stars lying in the dark night which was illuminated by them. I don’t know why but they really inspire me. They inspire me to shine without any fair complexion or without being a know-it-all or being the brightest.

Three years ago, I left my home, my city and maybe my happiness too. I left somebody who had been the closest to me in my hour of need and in my happiness. We never knew we can fall apart so far off that it would be difficult for anyone to collect the pieces and make something out of them. We shared our jokes, our crushes, our boneheadedness, our woes, our sufferings, our food with each other. We talked all day in school, make fun of many but it wasn’t enough. So, we talked on the phone for hours as well. We could make each other laugh just by our expressionless shitty faces and make the moment memorable. We would hate the same people, love the same people, our friendship was unbreakable. We had fights that ended the same day or the same hour. We had fights because of our gooselike behavior. Once we had a fight which lasted days but somehow we managed to breakthrough. I remember the last time we saw each other was when we had one of our exams. Many people asked me why I was so depressed that day. I never answered, who are they to ask anyway?
I told her that I’ll be leaving town in some days, I didn’t even know when I was leaving. She thought that I was joking but I wasn’t. I just thought of a miracle to happen but it never did. The next day when we met, she asked me again if what I said to her was true, I said yes. She was really disgusted by me that she pushed me, but as a goodbye, a last friendly push she could manage. We drifted apart and went to our houses. I got calls from her asking questions but I broke down on the line. We had our social studies exam as the next and we were calling each other to make funny stories about the old-age rulers so that we could learn better. I never wanted to leave between the exams, I was a bright student. I just studied on the last day and got really good marks. She went for the exam, I never did, I wasn’t prepared for it either.
I and my family were traveling to some other place by road. We stopped at some hotel to rest, that was when I called her. I called her up but hung up shortly as I just wanted to hear my best friend’s voice. The moment was not right for explanations. After some days, I explained her about what went wrong but she wasn’t listening. We somehow managed to be friends again but not the same way. There came a day when I cut all connections from everyone in that city. I thought that I had nothing to share with them except my misery. I thought slowly and gradually we’ll become redundant. I spent two years like that while people messaged my sisters to ask me to talk at least once. I wouldn’t listen to them. I had become stone-hearted. I just wanted to be alone. I had the taste of suicidal in my mouth but I was too afraid to accomplish my desires. I got moving texts but I wasn’t willing to reply to any.
One day, I decided that it was high time and I should reply to someone who was hurting so bad. I replied and she was over the moon.
Though we talk now, not for a long time but for some time, it isn’t the same as it was before. We truly have become redundant and too soaked up in our lives now.

The inclusion of stars in this post is really weird but they played a part in my life when I was looking for some direction, when I couldn’t share my true feelings with others, they helped. They invigorated me to do what is right. They came to my aid. I was clueless for what this useless life holds for me but they made me learn how to to breathe again. They made me feel good.

Bird Set Free. 


Looking above,  I came across a flock of birds. They were all silent as they fled across the skies of revelation and to their home. They had scars on their bodies but never did they lose their happiness. In the good old days, our teachers would ask us what we wanted to become when we get older. Our reply would be that we wanted to become a bird with our wings wide open embracing what we call nature. We would say that if we had the chance we would never shut our feathers and sit down. We wanted to explore this world in silence and never feel that some sadness will follow. What does a bird feel like when it is up and above floating and competing with the wind? The way we feel when somebody plays music that really touches our heart and we can relate to every single word that the singer is trying to convey. The way we feel when we get overjoyed by catching a glimpse of a loved one or even hearing their voices. 


Did we find an experience that’s equal to a feeling of freedom?  We got freedom but did we feel the jubilation? The birds are afraid of us. What made them like that? They would fly away when we come near to them. When the innocent was slaughtered and the world was broken down, we sat on our couch munching on snacks and watching the news for what really happened. When the missiles were thrown on the land to make it deserted, the struggle to make this land more beautiful by many people went to waste. When the hostages were killed without the murderers knowing why they are killing them and the victims knowing what they are killed for, we were asleep in our bedrooms with the air conditioner on and we’re dreaming about a life for us that will be better than the one we are living now. Why did the teenagers kill themselves when they had a way to escape their situation? Why was a particular religious cult considered terrorist, when it only taught us about peace and love? Why were the bullies hitting black people and passing out racist comments? Didn’t they have the same blood as the others? Why were some people considered untouchable? Weren’t they kind by their hearts? Why was acid thrown on people’s faces when as a child we only thought that it was for chemistry? Why were women mutilated? Weren’t they the ones who gave us birth and taught us to walk? Why were the poor people begging on the roads and asking for money when we had the chance to find them a job? 

Is there anything else to be recalled and anything worse left to happen to this world? We were only taught about unity and love in our schools. The birds serve as a reminder to what we can do to change this world. We can fly and watch our silhouette flowing beneath us and let the people become happy. We can have a world that’s filled with serenity. We can still have a world without guns and ammunitions. We can throw up the idea of war with a little love. Wars can be one without defeat. Every scar can heal overtime. 

The Dew Moistening a Burden. 

I was looking up at the sun which was almost covered by the dusky clouds and seeing people closing their windows and running to get some shelter seemed bizarre. The cool breeze mixed up with some droplets of chilled water was coming across my face and I never wanted the moment to end. The rain was leaving behind a rich smell that reminded me of my childhood when I found happiness in all the bits and pieces that were scattered in all directions. We would collect the memories and gather them to form something that completes us. The water slushed in to the tiny pools of mud and rainwater. The kids were hurdling across the city that a few hours earlier was shrivelled. I don’t know how many people think that a downpour is a feeling of sadness but I think the adverse. I’ve always enjoyed dancing in the rain though I never knew how to dance. Only in the books did this drizzle have a feeling of letting go and crying it’s heart out whenever it felt like. It also encourages you to cry with it and doesn’t leave you until you feel like you’ve done enough and snivelling for something that should not matter is not right. It let’s you breathe when the populace didn’t even let you inside when you caused for no harm to them. You just tried too hard to lose yourself that you came out to be lost. The pressure was building up on you but it was too late for someone to apprehend. They appreciated you until they thought you would do good to them but threw you right away when you could not live up to them. You fell flat on your faces.

The trees were now dripping the last of the drops that didn’t touch the ground. Some drops fell on your head and they tried arduously to make you hold your ground even when they weren’t there for you. The only one who will be left behind is you. The drenched ground was soon beginning to get dry by the bright sunlight that shone over your head.You were thrown aback by the wonders you never noticed happened in your life but you were unmindful of them. The sun implied something as well by the luminesce it had created. 

Rain went away but it left traces so that you never forget what it wantedwanted you to be. The water that was left behind tried to catch up with the inner ground. They were complete now. 

Slumbering. 

When you were surrounded by a crowd and everybody was talking and laughing and smiling, didn’t you feel like you were a numbskull with your face tilted towards your shoulder and had nobody to smile with? I don’t know how people walk  when they are depressed or agitated but I walk like I don’t want to. There are a blast of feelings in my head trying to be a joker for me but I put my head down and sleep. Sleep is something I’ve always loved to do. I can’t show somebody my tears rolling down my cheeks and making my clothes wet.  My hands shake and my legs are almost numb. I try to wave away everyone who comes to know what’s wrong but the truth is that I don’t even know what’s wrong and what good is supposed to happen. I am cold. There’s a lump in my throat, that is the last sign of your anger turning into a waterfall. I want to run away, away from here, away from pain when I am victimized. I wish that a certain sound or some water will take me back to life but I’m almost dead underneath. Will I ever get a life that was supposed to be mine? Will I ever get a reason to be happy? Will I ever find someone to give me a cold shoulder? Or will I stay as a joke for this world always? I’ve been betrayed by people,  by life and by myself to live again. I try to assemble the broken pieces but they only can be joined together, they can never get fixed. I hear languages around me that I don’t understand, people translate it for me but I’m not even present there.

I sleep again into my dreams in which I’m serenaded, loved and away from the people shouting on me or on the people near me. I sleep because I’m tired and I don’t know if I’ll get a chance to live for myself. I sleep and cry but don’t know out of all the reasons, which reason am I weeping for. I cry because I’ve to wake up again and fake a smile  and lie again.