She always had that shadow behind or beneath her that wasn’t her flaw but it reminded her of what lies and sorrows hid underneath her skin. She was made up of flesh and bone but no one knew what had made her this diffident. Coming across the grandstand made her shiver,  she could hear her teeth clicking or her feet trembling with awkwardness. She lived in a broken home surrounded by inept circumstances. Never did she love herself let alone anybody else. She thought she was the only one infelicitous enough to live as a walking tragedy. She knew the meaning of rage but never did she find the meaning of beatitude as far as she had lived. She would let her mascara smudge, she didn’t know how to contour her nose, she never had many shades of kajal in her shelf. She never relied on her clothes for looking good. She didn’t dress up well, she didn’t tie her hair like any other girl, she didn’t wear make up, she was obnoxious, yet she was beautiful.

He was flattered by a sight of her. He could die just to make her fall in love with him. He didn’t care about the macrocosm for he found happiness for the first time in his life. He never enjoyed his time living in a Lexus cage. Money never bought him elation. He walked with his face turned down making people joke about him. He wore spectacles that were bigger than his face. He was trying to cope up with this fast-paced world. He dreamt of making the world his to hold. He wanted to live a life that didn’t depend on anybody else’s happiness. He was blessed but never did he find any blessings in his life himself. Tired of this mundane world, never did he become a recidivist. He believed in the Lord almighty because he thought that he would send a saviour for him sooner or later. SHE was the saviour.

When they met for the first time, he could hear many voices in his head telling him she was the one worth all the wait. Heartbeats grew faster but the reason could not be secerned. It was teenage love but it seemed ages old. Neither of them knew that out of a gigantic number of people, they would cross paths. None knew anything better than giving up before them meeting. No one felt this happy before.
This was yet just the beginning.


Abundant Skies.

Did you see the blue sky moving with us? The panoramic view was Splendiferous. No matter how hapless you are or were, it is accompanied by magnificence.The blue in the skies was caressing the white and the boundaries were abundant. They might be many light hours away from me but I couldn’t deny the cipher that was hidden behind them. Though they were visionary, they meant something. It was a feeling of infatuation.

“I feel as though I was deceived, never found love in the city”- these lyrics have always been truthful to me. I tried to cheat on my despicabilities but they beguiled me. On the contrary, they made me learn the meaning of radiance in this reality. When I first went to a new school, I never realized who I was and who I ought to be. I never realized that I’m straying away from what can throw me to the threshold of reality. I never found a compadre nor did I find somebody to love. I didn’t find someone in front of whom I can feel loved too. Maybe I was too infernal to imbibe the situation or too soaked up by my throes. I never realized someone’s admiration in seeing my face.I have been hiding a lot from people and myself too. I don’t know if I belong here or am I too cold for a shoulder. I disappear into the state of being stone cold. I cry but I never let my tears soak in the happiness that lies behind, hoping someday I can make it. Some day, the world will be flattered in seeing the rainbow after a downpour.

Maybe, sometime I can really figure out what this galaxy has for me or I can stay hiding my face forever.

And I won’t damnify myself with the latter for sure.

Another Love.

He was treasured by everyone in the encompassing ranges. He adored many people, but not someone as much as her. All the moments around her were woolgathering for him.He might be truthful to all and sundry, but never to her. She appeared mysterious to him.He lived a lamentable life, disappearing at a sight of her.

She was lost and deeply engaged in the aftermath of her life and all about she cared. She was often obnoxious about the spectators never knowing that she could hurt someone this bad.She didn’t care about anyone until she lost herself. Her life had just furbished up after the cataclysm.

He stargazed even when she was there, right infront of his eyes. He kept on disobliging his own self. He gave her a hunting ground that nobody could see.

She could see him relishing her. There was very much in common between them but they were victimizing themselves for their heart and their soul.

No one knew where this betrayal would lead them to.

Array of gaiety.

She always had a room for herself where it was pitch dark. The blackness filled the void for her. She never spoke out to people, she had shrieks of fear. She thought she would become a throwaway. She could lean, she could walk, she could say but somehow she was different. She thought of exfoliating her skin, in the wake of becoming fake but that was unacceptable too. She had dreams of walking through the door, the alley, and off the bridge. Was it the denouement?

Deep in the arms of her fear was a door that opened to an unknown luminosity. She never how to survive until she kissed the demons out of her dreams.

It was funny but it seemed beautiful.

In the wild of my disturbed heart.

I have been getting some feedback on the adverse. So, I tried to write a life experience. I would be grateful if you discriminate the flaws out of this.

So,  it’s been a while since I came into a new city, “the city of the damned”, as I call it.  People actually call it the “city of joy”, not for me though. I’ve been getting feelings of delirium since the beginning.  I try to talk to people but a sudden  oblivion hits me, I’m shaking. All I can ask is that “was it meant to be?”. A feeling in the gut like prickling , tingling and pressure is all I can feel. Is it a silent panic attack or am I just over thinking it?  I have never been able to open up to people until another disaster hit me and shattered me into pieces.  Agony has always been a companion,  a real one.  I found peace and sympathy in my Fandom. I tried to hide the tears  into a cave of my heart but it turned out to be worse.

Will joy ever pass through the deserted Boulevard in the corner of which I live? Will there be a world without betrayal?

Getting through a combat.

I was oneirically thinking of flumping down the cliff and was inquisitive about whether my muscles ruptured or the mental anguish was an amended way to get out of the city of the damned. There’s a combat going in between my forebrain and hindbrain if the blackness would ever be lost far behind the jack-o’-lantern and if that betrays me, the sunshine would accompany. For this world is catastrophic and there’s resplendence only when we make way for it.

Broke or broken?

Why is the suffocation vellicating inside of me like the muscles forming a whorl. No blood pumping out but the wretchedness taking its toll. Is my fall from grace giving Mr unhinged feelings or the veins perturbing, vexing throughout this body. My eyes are draining water, making my face wet.

Is that what we call beingness?